PRINCIPESSA...

SO, HADDA TAKE MY CAT, PRINCIPESSA, FOR HER ANNUAL CHECK UP. THAT'S PRINCIPESSA, PRONOUCED "PRINCH`-A-PAY-SA", ITALIAN FOR PRINCESS. ACTUALLY, GOT HER BECAUSE IN THE MOVIE "LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL", THE HERO CALLS HIS WIFE-TO-BE "PRINCIPESSA" EACH TIME HE RUNS INTO HER UNTIL HE FINDS OUT HER NAME. MANY TIMES HE SAYS "BUON GIORNO, PRINCIPESSA!" AND I JUST LOVE THE SOUND OF IT: "BUON GIORNO, PRINCIPESSA!".....SO, I WENT TO OUR VET IN UPSTATE NEW YORK, NINE YEARS AGO. HE HAD STRAYS HE HAD TAKEN IN, FIXED THEM AND GAVE THEM SHOTS AND OFFERED THEM FOR FREE TO ANYONE WHO WOULD GIVE THEM A LOVING HOME. "AHA", I THOUGHT. "IF I TAKE A FEMALE, I CAN NAME HER 'PRINCIPESSA', AND SAY 'BUON GIORNO, PRINCIPESSA' ALL I WANT, UNTIL EVENING, THAT IS, THEN I'LL HAVE TO SAY 'BUONA SERA, PRINCIPESSA', BUT, I STILL GET TO SAY 'PRINCIPESSA'....AND WHEN EVENING PASSES, AND WE REACH NIGHT TIME, I GET TO SAY 'BUONA NOTE (THAT'S "NO`TAY"), PRINCIPESSA'...HELL, I'LL GET TO SAY 'PRINCIPESSA ALL I FREAKIN' WANT!"

SO, THAT'S WHAT I DID...NINE YEARS AGO, AROUND THIS TIME, AND I'VE ROLLED THAT DELECTABLE ITALIAN WORD OFF MY TONGUE COUNTLESS TIMES! SO, A SHOT, SOME SQUEEZING AROUND HER BODY, A STETHASCOPE TO HER CHEST, DENTAL CHECK UP, AND A TOOL SHOVED UP HER LITTLE (SHE'S ONLY 7 POUNDS) POOP SHOOT TO CHECK HER STOOL AND A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF HEART WORM PREVENTATIVE, TOGETHER WITH FLORIDA TAGS (MANDATORY, IN FLORIDA, EVEN THOUGH SHE'S AN "INDOOR CAT"), BRINGS US TO A GRAND TOTAL OF $197! BUT, IT'S WORTH IT...AFTER ALL, I CAN CONTINUE TO SAY "BUON GIORNO, BUONA SERA AND BUONA NOTE`, PRINCIPESSA!" ALL DAY LONG....GO ON ~ SAY IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO : "BUON GIORNO....THAT'S "BWON JOR-NO" (COME ON, NOW, ROLL THE "R")..."BWON JOR-NO, PRINCH-A-PAY-SA"......YA LIKE IT, DON'T YA? COME ON. SAY IT AGAIN. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

BUON GIORNO, AMICI (SAY-"AH-MEE`-CHEE)...GOOD DAY FRIENDS!

OH, SLEEP CHECK: LAST NIGHT WAS TERRIBLE. I ELIMINATED THE PRESCRIPTION MED, COUNTING ON THE VALARIEN ROOT TO PUT ME TO SLEEP. IT DID NOT! BY 2:45 AM, I WAS FORCED TO TAKE THE DAMN PILL, AND IN A HALF HOUR WAS ABLE TO DOZE. AWAITING THE ARRIVAL IN THE MAIL OF THE HOLISTIC COMBINATION I ORDERED....ALL I WANT IS A "BUONA NOTE`, DAMMIT!"...