COULD'VE BEEN WORSE!

SO, GANG, A PRETTY GOOD NIGHT'S REST. ADDING THE NATURAL VALARIEN ROOT TO MY HALVED SLEEPING PILL DOSAGE HAS BEEN PRETTY GOOD LAST FIVE DAYS. HOPING TO ELIMNATE THE PRESCRIPTION MED ALTOGETHER. ANYWAY, WOKE UP RESTED AND IMMEDIATELY ATTACKED BILLS AND PAPERWORK. THE VERY FIRST ITEM OF THE DAY, PAY A BILL. OH, SHIT...THE CHECK I'M UP TO IN THE CHECK BOOK REGISTER DOESN'T MATCH THE CHECK IN THE BOOK! HAPPINESS IS WHEN THEY MATCH! I NEGLECTED TO PUT THE LAST CHECK IN THE REGISTER. PANIC...DID MY HUSBAND, MIKE, TAKE A CHECK. HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE CHECKBOOK YESTERDAY. SHIT! IF I ASK HIM IF HE TOOK IT AND HE DIDN'T, THEN HE'LL KNOW THAT, YET AGAIN, I DIDN'T WRITE THE CHECK IN THE REGISTER. DON'T WANT THAT!!! I SORT OF RECOGNIZED THE AMOUNT. (BIG PLUS, USUALLY I HAVE NOT FREAKIN' IDEA ABOUT THE AMOUNT OR WHO IT COULD BE FOR....) I CALLED MY BANK AND FOUND OUT IT WAS CASHED, YAY! BUT THEY DON'T TELL YOU THE PAYEE. SO, I LOOKED IN MY FILES OF THE NYC WATER BOARD, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR, CALLED THEM AND HOLY FREAKIN' SHIT! IT WAS THEM! FIRST TRY...TWO PHONE CALLS. DONE. USUALLY, I GET INTO A SWEATY MELT-DOWN. SEE, NOW THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT CALL FOR YOU TO LIVE IN THE MOMENT. THAT ALLOWS YOU TO BE CALM AND REMIND YOURSELF THAT "THIS WILL PASS"..IN OTHER WORDS, YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT, IT'S NOT A LIFE THREATENING SITUATION! EVERY TIME AN ANNOYANCE LIKE THIS HAPPENS IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO "NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...AND IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF"...I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I BELIEVE THE "....AND IT'S ALL SMALL STUFF" PART.....'CAUSE LIFE DOES THROW SOME HEAVY SHIT AT US. BUT EVEN THE BIG STUFF CALLS FOR FIGURING IT OUT, AND IT WILL GET SORT OUT - ALL OF IT. I HAVE A COUSIN WHO IS IN REMISSION OF COLON CANCER. HER ATTITUDE WAS ENLIGHTENED, REALLY ENLIGHTENED. WHEN I TOLD HER HOW MUCH I ADMIRED HER STRENGTH. SHE TOLD ME, "WELL, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, I WON'T HAVE CANCER ANYMORE."....CAN YOU IMAGINE ACCEPTING THE OUTCOME THAT WAY? DON'T GET ME WRONG, SHE IS A FIGHTER AND FOR SURE BATTLED HER "BUMPS IN THE ROAD". WHEN THE CHEMO WAS UNBEARABLE AND SHE HAD TO STOP, PUTTING HER REGIME BACK FOR WEEKS, THAT'S WHAT SHE CALLED IT..."A BUMP IN THE ROAD."

I SEE THAT THROUGH ALL MY "SELF-AWARENESS" READINGS, IT IS ALL PRETTY MUCH THE SAME.....SAME MESSAGE, DIFFERENT MESSENGERS AND THAT MESSAGE IS ACCEPTANCE. IT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO US, IT'S HOW WE HANDLE IT. IF YOU CAN CHANGE IT, CHANGE IT, IF YOU DON'T CHANGE SOMETHING THAT CAN BE CHANGED, THEN YOU DON'T WANT IT CHANGED! AND THAT MEANS YOU'VE ACCEPTED IT, SO DON'T FREAKIN' COMPLAIN (THIS IS ALL STUFF I TELL MYSELF, SO DON'T THINK I'M PREACHING TO YOU~) AND IF YOU REALLY CANNOT CHANGE IT, THEN ON DIFFERENT LEVELS, YOU WILL ACCEPT IT, WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? BUT, SOME OF US NEED HELP IN ACCEPTING SOMETHING WE DON'T WANT AND CAN'T CHANGE. SO, WE GET HELP FROM OVER EATING, OVER SPENDING, ABUSING BOOZE, DRUGS (PRESCRIPTION OR NOT). YEP, EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY ASKS US TO ACCEPT. ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE LATE AND IN A TRAFFIC JAM. ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE LATE AND YET AGAIN, CANNOT FIND YOUR KEYS. ACCEPT THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE YOURSELF MORE TIME AND, SO, RUNNING LATE WON'T BE A PROBLEM. EASY FOR ME TO SAY! THINK I FOLLOW THAT PRINCIPLE? BETTER RUN NOW, OR I WON'T HAVE TIME TO SWIM...