SOME CONFUSION ALREADY...

Okay, so already a little confusion with this blog stuff. Posting is easy for me, of course, because it is my blog and set up for me, but for you guys, ya gotta set up an a/c on my blog. Not too bad. Have to click on "Comments", screen opens with Comment Box, write, and then type in weird code word, e mail address and a password, then evey time after that, just e mail and password and you can visit easily.

So, woke up this morning after having this blog on my mind all night. Hoping that posting would not be complicated and so become a "turnoff". We'll see.

Anyway, woke up this morning with a sports injury...neck, shoulder and back from...get this...playing wii bowlling. You know wii...that awesome video game?~ Can you believe it, a sports injury from a video game!!! I hear players suffer tennis elbow, even. Ha! I don't need any other problem added to my inability to sleep! I am a bonafide insomniac, and have the papers to prove it! Went to a sleep clinic a few weeks ago, hoping that I had sleep apnea. You know when you stop breathing and wake up all night long. It is alleviated with an aparatus that forces air into your nose. I like that idea. Simple. Done. Sleep! But, no-o-o, I wake up alright, but just from the "voice in my head" that won't shut the hell up! On and off sleeping pills over 10 years now, beginning with restless legs problem. Didn't even have a name for it back then, nor treatment, just sleeping pills to help you "sleep through it". And so, I became Elivis Presley: pills to sleep, tired in the morning from the pills to sleep, and so a pill to wake up. Did that for a couple of years and realized (actually my husband "helped" me realize by telling me: "ENOUGH WITH THE PILLS!!!") I stopped immediately with no doctor's knowledge and, swear to God, should have been in rehab! For three weeks, I couldn't sleep, empty cavernous feeling, yet unable to eat...only carbs - bagels, cereal, etc. That was two years ago right around this time. It's when the Yankess lost post season miserably to the Tigers, 3 games to 1...uggh! As if I wasn't nauseous enough! So, now I'm weaning myself off of a sleeping pill I just had to start taking again, because ya just can go around sleep deprived! So, now, weaning taking 1/2 does of the sleep aid, and added natural valerian root, which seems to be helping. I fall asleep, still wake up several times, but can go back to sleep more easily. Hope to add melatonin and tryptophan (sleep inducing incredient in turkey). Ordered pill with valerian root, tryptophan and melatonin. I am hopeful. Also, just got a featherbed. Freaking awesome! Four inch topper for mattress. Very helpful. In addition, desperately trying to meditate. You know, quiet the mind, free it from thoughts. Ever do it? IMPOSSIBLE! For me, anyway. Using a mantra...word or words repeated in your head. If the mind has to wander, at least you TELL the mind what it's gonna think. But, even then, stray thoughts enter. My sister, Diana is a yoga teacher and has been for 30+ years...been meditating forever, and so is amused that I am frustrated after a month of attempts!

You know, I realized this morning when I looked in the mirror and this old bag looked back, that all of this is the onset of the "golden years"....imagine, the golden years...why are they called that? You're facing the back nine holes on the golf course of life, and those years are anything but freakin' golden! I swear, I looked at my hands this morning and thought: "who's hands are they, and how did they get at the ends of my arms?!?!"