GRATIDUDE!

So, I woke up in gratitude this morning, folks! First, because although I woke up several times during the night, I did fall asleep right away, and was able to go right back to sleep the five or so times I woke up. Also, my son, Justin didn't have to be at work until 10 am! Grateful not too early, and for sure, grateful that I have the realistic expectation that, with his mental challenges at 25, he will perform his job description to the satisfaction of his employer! That, my friends, is a goal reached: for Justin to maintain a job "in the community". No job coach needed! It is the single most important thing that makes the special needs population feel "like everyone else."

Then, even though I'm still suffering mildly from my sports injury from wii bowling, I got myself to my development's pool (in my gated community in south Florida), In the lap lane, I swam 30 laps (which = 60 X back and forth- 40 minutes) and then used the hot tub. Am I blessed or what???

I find living in the moment easiest while I'm swimming laps. I have to be present, because of breath control, strokes, kicking, timing. Counting the laps. Can't let stray thoughts interfere. Try though they may, I flick 'em away. When I try to mediate...not so easy, flicking 'em away.

I wear a cap, goggles and short swim fins for leg toning. I just love it. It was gray and cloudy and in the high 70s, much cooler than I've been used to over the summer. I am so very happy not to have to get my exercise in the health club (outside of which is this pool)...it's great to have it when the weather is rainy, but I really, really hate that eliptical freakin' machine! It must be raining for me not to swim! I may even give myself the occasional day off, if I can't swim.

So, I take this 56 year old body to the pool and put it to work. Here's the thing, when I say 56 year old body, I cannot believe it is I about whom I am talking. How did it happen to me, I wanna know? It's this dirty litte secret I've had over the years. I look at photos of my contemporaries and think: "Good thing I didn't get old!" It's not gonna happen to me! I was able to get 'til four months ago, before having to color the gray in my hair. Pretty freakin' good, no? Ergo, the swim cap...can't let the chlorine damage the color! I use a basic skin cream for my face, and aloe gel on my body.

My sister, Diana, is 11 years my senior (sorry, D.), and she has been taking care of her aging skin for ages. On a trip to Minnesota to visit, while in the bathroom I saw a plethera of jars, bottles and tubes. Stuff for wrinkles and sagging, stuff for sagging and wrinkles, stuff for lines and sagging, stuff for sagging and lines, stuff for...well, you get the idea. Then, I saw some sort of wand, about 8 inches long, with a wire attached. I brought it to her with a gleam in my eye and asked: "What's this?"...She said, "Put it down down, it will shock you."..."Shock me? Nothing will shock me!"....She said, "It's not what you think. It will shock you. You don't put it where you think. It is used to stimulate the muscles in your face. Helps with the sagging business, and if you put it where you think, it...willl...hurt!" "I am informed.", I replied. She has this aparatus you place your lips around. It houses a springy thingy and you shape your mouth into an "O", then a sort of grimace, then and "O" then a grimace...actually exercising the area around your mouth, you know, like the laugh lines (ventrioquist's dummy lines). I laughed, but, I gotta tell ya. My lines are deeper than her lines. Gotta get me a springy thingy!

She also has a routine, whereby she spreads the two vertical lines between her eyebrows, and puts tape over them. Supposed to soften 'em. It was my job to remind her, whenever we left the house, to remove the tape. As it happened, a couple of hours into our Mall of America trip, she scratched her forehead and felt the tape. "You little shit! One thing I ask you, and you can't even do that!", I giggled.........she punched my arm...hard!

SOME CONFUSION ALREADY...

Okay, so already a little confusion with this blog stuff. Posting is easy for me, of course, because it is my blog and set up for me, but for you guys, ya gotta set up an a/c on my blog. Not too bad. Have to click on "Comments", screen opens with Comment Box, write, and then type in weird code word, e mail address and a password, then evey time after that, just e mail and password and you can visit easily.

So, woke up this morning after having this blog on my mind all night. Hoping that posting would not be complicated and so become a "turnoff". We'll see.

Anyway, woke up this morning with a sports injury...neck, shoulder and back from...get this...playing wii bowlling. You know wii...that awesome video game?~ Can you believe it, a sports injury from a video game!!! I hear players suffer tennis elbow, even. Ha! I don't need any other problem added to my inability to sleep! I am a bonafide insomniac, and have the papers to prove it! Went to a sleep clinic a few weeks ago, hoping that I had sleep apnea. You know when you stop breathing and wake up all night long. It is alleviated with an aparatus that forces air into your nose. I like that idea. Simple. Done. Sleep! But, no-o-o, I wake up alright, but just from the "voice in my head" that won't shut the hell up! On and off sleeping pills over 10 years now, beginning with restless legs problem. Didn't even have a name for it back then, nor treatment, just sleeping pills to help you "sleep through it". And so, I became Elivis Presley: pills to sleep, tired in the morning from the pills to sleep, and so a pill to wake up. Did that for a couple of years and realized (actually my husband "helped" me realize by telling me: "ENOUGH WITH THE PILLS!!!") I stopped immediately with no doctor's knowledge and, swear to God, should have been in rehab! For three weeks, I couldn't sleep, empty cavernous feeling, yet unable to eat...only carbs - bagels, cereal, etc. That was two years ago right around this time. It's when the Yankess lost post season miserably to the Tigers, 3 games to 1...uggh! As if I wasn't nauseous enough! So, now I'm weaning myself off of a sleeping pill I just had to start taking again, because ya just can go around sleep deprived! So, now, weaning taking 1/2 does of the sleep aid, and added natural valerian root, which seems to be helping. I fall asleep, still wake up several times, but can go back to sleep more easily. Hope to add melatonin and tryptophan (sleep inducing incredient in turkey). Ordered pill with valerian root, tryptophan and melatonin. I am hopeful. Also, just got a featherbed. Freaking awesome! Four inch topper for mattress. Very helpful. In addition, desperately trying to meditate. You know, quiet the mind, free it from thoughts. Ever do it? IMPOSSIBLE! For me, anyway. Using a mantra...word or words repeated in your head. If the mind has to wander, at least you TELL the mind what it's gonna think. But, even then, stray thoughts enter. My sister, Diana is a yoga teacher and has been for 30+ years...been meditating forever, and so is amused that I am frustrated after a month of attempts!

You know, I realized this morning when I looked in the mirror and this old bag looked back, that all of this is the onset of the "golden years"....imagine, the golden years...why are they called that? You're facing the back nine holes on the golf course of life, and those years are anything but freakin' golden! I swear, I looked at my hands this morning and thought: "who's hands are they, and how did they get at the ends of my arms?!?!"

In the beginning...(of MY BLOG)

So, a friend of mine, Bruce, e mailed me a link to a blog and suggested I check it out because he thought that it was something I could do and "do well". I really didn't know what a blog was when I visited it, and realized it was just some woman discussing her daily life, in a clever and witty manner. Well, I thought, I could do that. After all, I am a published poet, who runs a website that offers a service to clients who want poems/toasts composed for a special occasion. It is something that I love doing, since I play a role in the celebration of people's lives. I can be clever! I can be witty! I am clever! I am witty! It's easy to get jaded when looking at the world view, and particularly, the unusual difficulties we are facing in our country. So, when a loving husband is searching for a unique way to express his feelings towards his wife of 30 years, my faith in humanity is renewed. Then, upon hearing the endearing qualities of a loved one, again I am reminded that people are, for the most part, wonderful creatures, despite what the evening news tells us!

With this in mind, I spoke with my web design guy, Sylvester, about the possibility of hooking a Blog up to specialoccasionpoetry.com. He said he didn't know much about Blogs. But, then the next morning, Sly called to tell me to go to my website. When I logged on, I saw that he had included "MY BLOG" in the navigation area of my homepage. Sure enough! I had a BLOG! You should know it took me a couple of hours this morning to get to the point where I could actually create my first blog. Well, look at me...I'm freakin' blogging...or am I....guess I have to look at the preview. Excuse me while I explore this blog and attempt to learn the intricacies of links, and actually go out and discover what other bloggers are all about. Will this become a wonderful endeavor or will it turn out to be something I file under "Be careful what you wish for." (?) Stay tuned...